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Soul Searching
Natasha Zainall June 16, 2011 0
These last few days, I couldn't help but thought about Islam and its teachings, principles and beliefs. I have come across with a lot of people, be it a Muslim or a Christian or a Buddhist. One thing that these religions share, is that they have their own beliefs.
As you can see from my photos, I'm not wearing the Hijab. I wear XS shirts and blouses, and I wear colourful dresses and sometimes I wear really hot pants. I love heels and I love to do my hair, which is quite often. And I love to experiment with my look.
Having this said, perhaps, half of the things that I do on a daily basis are conflicting with Islam and its teachings.
People have been judging me from the way I look and I find it rather uncomfortable to be judged and evaluated by my physical appearance and not by my behaviour. What I'm trying to say is that, people tend to judge me because I don't wear the Hijab and I dress a certain way that may have conflicted with Islam. So, they assume the worst of my behaviour. Even when they don't even know me. Yep.
Unlike other people, I was brought up in a family environment that allows me to choose to do what I think and believe is right in this life. They believe that I have all the rights to choose which path to lead MY life and they trust me enough to let me have the freedom.
My beloved family undeniably have unshakable faith towards our religion. They have given me abundance of knowledge about our religion. They sent me for Quran recitation sessions when I was 8 and I finished reading the whole Quran by the age of 9. They even made sure that I know every important detail about my religion.
Basically, I'm not here to justify myself of what I did or didn't do, that's between Allah and myself. But, it bothers me when people start to question my mother's capability of raising a daughter and her approval towards the way I dress.
My mommy knows everything that I do, yes, I mean everything. She knows the worst of my decisions, the darkest of my secrets and the best of my behaviours. I keep nothing from her acknowledgement, as I always believe that it is best to let your mommy knows from you, and not from some other people.
She is my bestfriend and my go-to's if I feel like I've lost my way or unable to decide how to go forward with my days. She always has the same remedy, though - "Go back to God".
So, does that make my mother incapable of raising me?
In this uncertainty of our lives, when the rest of the world seems to ignore you, family and God won't. All you have to do is seek for Him and He'll come to your aid. I may be a leg bearing, "free hair"-ed girl, but that is how much I know and believe in.
I have amazing friends who are wearing Hijab and I have so much respect for them. But, one amazing fact about them is that they do not discriminate nor look down upon those who aren't wearing Hijab. They do not judge nor assume my lifestyle based on the clothes I put on. Now, that's the real teachings of Islam, is it not?
To befriend others, to have good intentions, to love and respect one another? And those are the characters that Muslim should practice.
Speaking of practicing, there's of course a difference between practicing and portraying.
If you claim to be religious, and wear a Hijab just so you could blend in with a clique or simply because it's the in-style and if you pray just because everyone else is doing it, so you feel ashamed if you don't, and deep down inside that ugly heart of yours, you're doing these not out of sincerity towards Allah, you're better off not wearing the Hijab, as you're poisoning the sacred idea of the purity of Hijab and scratching the name of Islam.
Wearing Hijab is a lifelong commitment, because once you put on a Hijab, people know you're a representative of Islam, a representative of billions of the world's population who are fellow Muslims.
I've thought about wearing a Hijab, few times. But what will happen, if I can't keep the commitment? I don't want to wear it for a year and then decide not to after. If I do it, I'll do it out of sincerity and not out of force. And once I wear Hijab, it'll be till the day of my demise. I want to wear the Hijab, and one day, in God's will, insyAllah I will.
So please, stop judging me just from the way I dress and the fact that I don't wear the Hijab. Stop questioning my mother's capabilities of raising me because she has done a marvellous job. I may seem like a wild child, but I'm wise enough no to do drugs or drink alcohol or go clubbing or even smoke. My family has given me the freedom to choose and I choose not follow the dark path.
What really matters is our intentions at heart. We will never know what others do behind closed doors or their intentions.
What really matters is our intentions at heart. We will never know what others do behind closed doors or their intentions.
Judging a book by its cover, is by far the stupidest thing anyone can do.
Points to ponder,
Natasha
xoxo
Natasha
xoxo
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